Why
a site about my travels and adventures has such an odd name:
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| I
have an addiction. It isn’t a source of shame or fear. I have grown
to accept it. It has never made me steal, assault someone, or prostitute
myself. I have never gone through withdrawals or dug in the trash looking
for a little fix. It doesn’t set the schedule and tome of my day or
life. No, it is more of a nuisance than anything. I have a problem with
baked goods and chocolate – Chocolate Chip Cookies (CCC) especially.
You scoff. Don’t, it is something that I find compulsive, something
that I have to have. I NEED the rich gooey flavor of a cookie in my mouth.
When a craving strikes though, the want of fresh goes out the window and
I will eat whatever the store or sandwich shop has to offer. I HATE to have
nuts in my CCC’s - it is a perversion of a beautiful thing, but I
will eat around the vile things if I am really jonesin for one.
Friends feed this addiction, often because they think that it is funny to watch me eat one after another, out of control. I know a couple’s daughter who hides the cookie jar if she knows that I am coming over after I ate the last one too many times. I first knew I had a problem when I got a craving late one night a few years ago, walked to the store, bought a bag of Tollhouse hard cookies and a half gallon of milk. I was awakened the next morning by a couple of friends. I heard an anxious and disbelieving, “Matt! What have you done!?!” I looked around expecting to find nervous sheep or an empty gallon of bourbon or a bag of loot from a bank heist. Instead, I found myself covered in crumbs, an empty bag of cookies beside me and my first two fingers still sticking through the small handle of an empty milk jug… I have tried to quit. I have tried doing it cold-turkey – lasted a month. I have tried aversion therapy: I ate them till I puked - lasted two weeks. I have tried behavior modification – never found the right reward. You ask, why if it is not hurting me do I want to stop feeding the cookie monster? Well, I run, bike, climb, and lift a bunch through the course of my week and most days I do a couple of activities. I am light and fast and strong, but I have cookie handles. If I didn’t have the cookies I would have a body fat percentage of less than five. That is not happening. Below are figures that I came up with after tracking my “naughty” intake for just ten weeks. See what I mean?! Cookies:
36 This
is why my site is called Addicted to Cookies… |
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