Only in Irvine California...

Sunday. I'm on a nice long ride. After maybe 12 miles I have to cross a huge intersection. As I get there, I have a green light. Right as I cross into the intersection the light turns yellow then immediately red. I think: There is no way to make it across in time and I'm not into getting clipped by a car and the months of rehab associated with it. So, I stop on the center island, well away from traffic, to wait for the light to turn green again. A cop comes by and bleeps his siren at me. I probably jumped two feet. I wasn't expecting it and I almost fell over. I misjudged the light and I figured that he was reminding me to be more aware next time. The light turned green and I rode for another two blocks before the officer comes zooming up behind me with lights and siren. He got out and argued with me about the light starting out green. He finally said that I technically ran the light and bicycles are to follow the same rules as cars.

He was an ass, but I don't think he was going to give me a ticket until people started driving by and laughing out of their windows at him for pulling a bike over. He went right to his cruiser, grabbed the ticket book and spent 20 minutes getting the violation code just right. During the course of the ticket writing he asked to see my driver’s license. I was in bike shorts and not operating a vehicle… He told me that I HAD to have ID. I thought I remembered the number for my DL and gave it to him. I didn’t remember California declaring martial law and ruling that one had to carry idenity papers at all times. When I mentioned my thoughts on the matter, officer Anderson informed me that unless I could prove my identity to him, he could and would take me to jail until the authorities could ascertain who I was. I stared at him in disbelief and said. “You’re going to take me to jail? In spandex? He didn’t say a word. He just turned and walked to his car to check out the ID number I gave him. I got the number right, thank God. I truly believe that he would have taken me in.

AFTER I got the ticket, I was a bit of a smart ass - imagine that. I asked him for his business card and badge number. He more or less threw it at me, got in his car, busted a U-turn, and sped away. I laughed about it for the rest of the afternoon ride.

It was all fun and games until I got home and my roommate told me that the ticket would cost me about $270.00 and go on my driving record as a moving violation. You know I went to court over this one! The cop spent all that time getting the violation code right but screwed up the court date by a month, got my DL information wrong and listed my speed as 2mph. I walk at 3mph. So, I thought I would walk on a technicality, beside the fact that I was innocent.

I go to court, plead not guilty and have to post a bond until my court date. Three weeks later, I show up in a suit, and put my case before the judge. He listened to the officer’s recollection and then listened to my side and then told me he was sorry, that my story seemed plausible, but he had to take the word of an officer over mine since Officer Anderson’s job was to report the truth. He found me guilty – I was stunned – but waved the fine, ordered me to pay $55 in court costs and told me that I could go to traffic school to keep the case off my record. Upon hearing this I said in a bewildered voice, “I was on a bicycle.” The judge looked at me funny and after a short pause said, “Never mind about traffic court, just pay the court costs and we’re done, OK?” I agreed and promptly paid my court fees/extortion money.

One would think that a police officer in Southern California (nationally known for its low crime rate, right?!) with at least 60 college credit hours (I checked - that is the minimum to be considered for the police academy here.), firearms training, police academy training, and one or two continuing education courses every few years would rot before he lowered himself to pull over a guy in spandex on a bicycle. I guess Officer Mark Anderson of the Irvine Police Department doesn't mind people laughing at him on the side of the road.